Claude Monet, Rouen Cathedral Facade, 1893. Or so I tell people.

You only have fifteen minutes to teach them everything they think they need to know.  You survey your self-selected audience of middle-aged intellectuals and culture-curious out-of-towners and decide on him.  He becomes your benchmark.  When you question the group as to whether they’re following along, his nod speaks for the whole.  When you establish your cadence, approach the climax, and hit upon your argument’s sweet spot, his sentient smile confirms that you indeed stuck the landing.  He could be a Harvard professor, the way his gray beard is so neatly trimmed.  His blue button-down shirt is casually tucked into his khakis.  He could know more than I do.  He could have come today to stay abreast on the state of the field, to hear a young academic’s reinterpretation of a painting he’s spent hours staring at, pouring over pages of peer-reviewed journals to best understand the nuance of the brushstrokes.  Maybe I remind him of his students, our sweet hopefulness, our eagerness to please.  He welcomes the mentorship; we’re in this together, he and I.  Maintaining eye contact, I finish my talk with a flourish.

“Are there any questions?” I ask, searching the crowd.  “Anything I can go into more deeply?”

He raises his hand.  I smile and nod, bracing myself for a challenge, pleased to have piqued his interest.  This should be good, I think.

“So…this is an original painting, right?  Not a copy?”

Uh.

“Well, see, all the paintings at the MFA are original.”

“Really?  All these paintings in the whole museum?”

“Um…that’s kind of the…point of an art museum.”

He absorbs this, oblivious to my deflation.  The dispersing crowd is rolling its eyes and sending me secret head-shaking smiles over his shoulder.  He looks around, scanning the sun-dappled Monets, the moody Degas’, the throngs of squinting visitors an Impressionist collection will always, always attract.

“Well, how do you like that?” he says.  He takes his wife’s waiting hand and they turn and walk towards the next gallery.